2/27-3/3/2012

This week talking about crisis and challenges that we face is really an interesting thing. It has been really neat to reflect back on all the crisis that my family has faced. I noticed that when the kids in our family became teenagers we had the most problems. It was from 13-19 that we got in trouble or something happened. We've experienced parent surgery some minor and one major for my mom and dad. Siblings have faced legal problems, delay on going on missions, coming home early from missions, adoption problems, and addictions. It's been interesting to see that for the most part we as a family have been able to recognize there is a problem and this is what we need to do. I've noticed it with my parents, they have been the one's leading the way with a positive yet realistic attitude. I really loved the section in the book that discussed how to cope effectively and what makes a family so resilient.

2/20-2/26/2012

This week has been a really big eye opener. I've been learning a lot about these same things in a social work class. I loved that Brother Williams said he hates the word "communicate". It doesn't help us with anything because it we don't know what part of our communication is wrong. It could be verbal, non verbal, physical etc... Openness and sharing specific things is so important and I've learned that the hard way with my wife. I need to be more direct and specific instead of asking yes no questions, but "why do you feel that way", or "what can i do to help", or "why do you like that. it doesn't have to do anything with sex, it can be with cleaning, chores, cooking dinner, the date we went on. So often we simply ask the wrong questions or we don't know what to ask. Constantly sharing with your spouse can be such a positive thing. Not just sharing but asking and taking time to listen.

2/13-2/19/2012

I learned a lot in class this week. it was full of really applicable things. I shared how my little brother and his wife never established roles and boundaries with her parents, and I did with my wife's. I didn't mention that even though i didn't have her there when i talked with her parents about marrying her and what role they expected from me, my wife and i have since talked with them. Kelcie and i pulled her mother aside and talked about our expectations with her and she shared hers with us. There were some we agreed on and some we disagreed on. It was really an incredible thing. We have talked with Dan and my parents as well about what we expect and what we want to do. We don't want to be to thorough because with a baby things are changing and we don't know what will happen and the help we might hope for and need. We don't want to become out of their lives since the gospel is aobut family and we want to be able to help them. I do think it's so important that we are open in our relationships about our expectations with in-laws and with our spouse. We need to see where they are coming from and that just because our way may be different, neither way is necessarily write or wrong.

2/6-2/12/12

I have really enjoyed reading the different chapters with my wife. We read chapter 7 together and it brought back a lot of great memories when we first met and eventually started dating. There was a lot we found true for us with in terms of finding similarities yet some differences. It's interesting to look back and see the pressures both of our parents put on us even though they didn't realize it. I remember being very blunt with my in-laws and telling them that I preferred not to live anywhere near them or my parent for the first few years of marriage and it kind of caught everyone off guard. My father-in-law was pretty supportive of it.
Also,  I think it's really important that we establish family traditions and hold fast to them.

1/30-2/5/2012

Thinking about what would be different if I were a girl and not a boy would have small differences. We all worked in the house and did chores and we all did stuff outside. Boys did mow the lawn but there were 4 of us so mowing the lawn only happened so often since we would rotate out. We all had to clean the garage, the basement, cleaned the cars and boat. I think that it’s important that we learn how to work outside and in the house. My dad is the one that the girls in young women as to show them how to iron instead of another women in the ward. I look at the relationship that my mom and dad have and I think it’s pretty cool that my parents do lots of stuff together. My mom works in the yard probably as much as my dad. My dad works in the house doing dishes, cooking, and taking care of things. That is something that I hope my wife and I establish.